Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Why Teaching Has Severely Warped My Mental Stability


"I want to use a bad word in this--but I don't know how to spell it."

"This is boring."

"After Gina, Molly, and Willy can I use the hall pass?"

Me: (After observing student's behavior for a few seconds) Please stop talking/throwing crap/hitting your neighbor/text messaging/doing that.
Student: (Dead faced) I wasn't talking/throwing crap/hitting my neighbor/text messaging/doing that.

"This is boring."

Me: Turn to page 35 (as I point to "PAGE 35" written on the whiteboard).
Them: Where?
Me: (Still pointing). Page 35 .
Them: Where are we?
Me: We're on page 35.
Them: What page?
Me: 35.
Them: Page 5?
Me: 35. Now let's begin read--
Them: What are we doing?

"This is boring."

"Can't we just watch a movie or something?"

"What time does this class get out?"

"If I do this assignment, what will my grade be?"

Student: Can I have that pencil, teacher?
Me: You mean the one I'm using to take roll?
Student: Yeah, can I have it?

"This is boring."

A List of Old School Marm Things I Catch Myself Saying to Students at Least Once a Day which I then Respond to in My head as a Smart Ass Student:

"Are you a part of the solution or a part of the problem?"
Problem. Why else would you be harrassing me?

"Why are you talking?"
Because I like to talk. I can talk. That is what I do. Talk. And ignore you.

"Mr. ___________ is unprepared today. Does anyone have a pencil for him?"
Yes, I do. But I don't want to lend his mooching, unprepared butt a pencil anymore than you do, lady.

"Where are you supposed to be, gentlemen?"
Where are any of us supposed to be? Is this where you thought you'd end up in life? Back in high school?

"Let's get to class, people."
(In my best mimicking voice). Let's get to class, people.

"We leave our areas better than we found them."
Our areas? What the hell is an "area"?

"Why are you not working?"
Because it's...work!

"Do you want me to take that away?"
No. That's why I was attempting to hide it from you.

When did I become this person?


Alice said...

hehehehehe I have to laugh. You tell it all so well. I am sure it is not so funny to you since it's more like ground hog day for you. Over and over and over again.

Yay for the Ms. Rookie...I am sorry that teaching sometimes plain sucks.

Blackeyedsue said...


Holy Crap!!! I LOVE IT!!! I should so make one of those smart-alec lists for what I think when I tell my kids things.

I think you have captured a day in the life of you SO well.