In Which I Assign Myself 500 Pages of Bad Reading

Let's start by clearing up this one little detail: I'm an idiot. Stupid, really.

Case(s) in point:

1. Call it a delusional vision of who I wish I were (read: a hard *assed teacher), but I assigned the AP kids 10 page research papers on self-selected debatable topics they've lived with all year long. Nearly 50 kids, 10 pages. All due earlier this week. Yup. That was stupid.

2. Add that lapse in judgment to the pile of Spring Break grading I procrastinated beyond, you know, Spring Break and you start to see that teaching English is far less preferable to, say, teaching gym.

3. I'm blogging rather than facing any of this because ignorance is bliss.

4. Combine all of the above with the brilliant timing of after school study sessions with the AP kids, starting back on the weight-loss-get-in-shape band wagon from which I so miserably fell over the past three months (oops), and teaching an all-new unit on argumentative writing with my 9th graders (not my forte nor theirs) which requires the time and energy equivalent of my first year of teaching and I'm thinking I've got to be on a top ten list somewhere.

Like I said. Stupid.

*For obvious reasons this is not the week to give up my ever-so classy tendency of talking like a teamster. We'll save that one for later.

Free Flying Friday

Sometimes a girl just gets the urge for splattering a chaotic thought train on the old blog. A list, if you will, of what is currently on my mind:

1. I am talented at many things. Avoiding the BOX of grading (papers, essays, reading journals, projects) that awaits me happens to be my forte. Yes, a BOX. I've outgrown my bag. I grade, I really do. It just keeps growing in its overwhelmability. (Is that a word? I just made it one.) Instead of facing my problems, I choose to blog.

2. Dear Self: Some guys just flirt. With everyone. Period. They're good at it. Don't take it personally, dearie. It will only end badly if you do that. Flirt back for fun and leave it at that. Think of it as practice for the big game that will some day show up in your life. Besides, are you really compatible with someone who is most decidedly a Glenn Beck fan? (No offense to my Glenn Beck-ite readers, I just don't know that I could marry one of you.)

3. Eating apple pie a la mode at 9 PM with your pals does not bode well for daily Weight Watchers points. Frankly, this whole Halloween, holidays swiftly approaching business is killing the diet.

4. I love a cloud-covered day. Sometimes you just need the gloominess.

5. I will not eat the Swedish Fish kindly provided by the PTSA. I will not eat the Swedish Fish kindly provided by the PTSA. Repeat.

6. Mmmmm, Swedish Fish.

7. I really need to purchase a replacement ink cartridge STAT. This hussling about the school during prep period in search of a printer is no way to live my life.

8. I need to send some new pictures to be printed at Costco. I have an empty frame in my office and old photos scattered in frames about the house.

9. I need to do a lot of things.

10. Alice and I were discussing just this very topic: we each would fully appreciate one week from work on a "vacation." As in, we're out of town and can't do anything with you that week, sorry. But really we spend that week getting everything done for which we never have the time. A giant Checking Off the To Do List Celebration Week. Can you imagine how glorious it would be?

11. Praises be! Ashley, Alice's sister, is coming to town tomorrow. Do you know long it has been since I had my hair cut. July. Early July. Nearly four months! My naturally curly hair grows into a triangle if left alone. A triangle! Not flattering. Oh, how I adore me some Ashley. And not just because she cuts my hair and shapes my eye brows to perfection and...

12. Okay--confession time--she also waxes my chin. I don't know what has happened other than genetics, but I'm developing something resembling scruff. I swear it to you all! This is SO not cool. My entire life I have sat in the back seat of my parent's car watching my Mom "pluck" (tweeze) her chin on the way to every social event we attended in my childhood. My father always had to drive so Mom could tweeze away. I'm her now. I'm her! And I totally get it: the car really is the best place for such an activity--perfect lighting.

13. Grading is waiting. I better leave it at 13. Besides, I'm boring you poor people into a coma.

(Thanks, google, for the image that is as random as this post.)

Cleaning ADD

1. Avoid breaking neck on unpacked (but not necessarily put away) messes of shoes on bedroom floor.



2. Start cleaning up shoe mess.

3. Give up.

4. Fold towels.

5. Spot camera.

6. Forget cleaning altogether.

7. Go outside.

8. Take picture of "front porch"


Note to self: sweep stairwell.
Addendum to note-to-self: on mission. stairwell sweeping must wait.

9. Take pictures of stuff you've meant to take pictures of in backyard.



10. Melt in sun.

11. Go inside.

12. Stare at towel towers.

13. Take "raw" self-portrait sans makeup/good lighting.

14. See picture, consider showering.

15. Decide against showering.

16. Back to shoe mess.


17. Stare aimlessly at shoe mess.

18. Create good will pile.

19. Color coordinate 1/2 closet.

20. Give up closet.

21. Blog.

22. Shower.

23. Finish closet.


24. Stare aimlessly at shoe mess.

25. Find shoe solution at Wal-mart.

26. Create safe walkway in bedroom.

27. Organize shoes.




The end.

As an Addendum to My Previous Post

I still really, really, really, really do NOT want to sort or file anything. Ever.

If I made more money I would hire a filing clerk. I dream about him sometimes. He'd wear bright ties with coordinating striped dress shirts. He'd call me Boss and treat me with more respect than my students ever do. He'd water my plants (that I don't have because he's not around to take care of them) and make my life dreamy.

Oh, how I'd love a filing clerk.

Yes. To answer your question, this is a gratuitously pitiful and meager attempt in delaying the filing even longer.

April 15: Eventually, I Get Things Done

It was tax day yesterday. I may have taken a trip to the post office at 10:30 pm with the roommate to file her taxes. And maybe, just maybe, I logged online to pay my $17 to the State of Utah at 11 pm.

When did we become procrastinators of this kind?



In other news, I'm in the ward *road show (GOOOO...learn to say NO, Rookie!) and have to get my many lines memorized by 5 pm today. I've been on Spring Break all week and I'm just getting around to that today. Yes, today at 11 am. I had nightmares as I slept in this morning that it was all of Juliet's lines in Romeo and Juliet that I had to memorize, however (I'm in the middle of teaching this with my 9th graders), so I'll take the road show any day.

*A road show is a strange Mormon custom in which small plays or skits are put on and performed by each ward (small congregation) for the members of the entire stake (collection of congregations). Usually these plays revolve around a similar theme. At one time the shows "went on the road" traveling from one church to another in the stake. Almost always it is a rather lame-o (did I just admit this?), but entertaining, event. There is rarely green jell-o present.

Farewell, Summer

aka Freedom, aka Sleep.



As of yesterday my dreaded school days have returned. My thoughts on this: I forgot how tiring (read: overwhelming) this all can be. Let us pray that, amidst the many scheduled meetings I am to participate in/attend this week, somewhere from the stars above a large quantity of time will reveal itself thereby allowing me the ability to prepare for the students' arrival next Tuesday. You, instead of harboring secret thoughts about the upcoming school year this summer, I savored my time to live my life and "waste" time on completely relaxing endeavors. In other words, when it comes to my well-laid teaching plans for this year...I got nuttin'.

How Do I Look?

While I should have spent my evenint paying bills/cleaning my shower/putting away laundry/going to bed at a decent hour, I opted, instead, to put my lovely blog through a renovation. I rather like the blog's new look. What do you think?

All those pressing matters aren't half as fun, by the way...especially paying bills.

"Procrastination" OR "Time Flies Whether You're Having Fun or Not"

Okay, I get it. It has been a while. My sister has started threatening me. So I suppose it is time for another post. I have no excuse beyond the fact that I am busy-ish. Busy-ish in the sense that I always intend to blog but something else gets in the way. And it isn't like I never get on the computer to blog (OH do I get on the computer!). I simply end up looking at many other blogs. And then I've wasted my posting time reading everybody else's posts and by then it is time to do the 12 other things I had on my to do list. So, excuses aside, here is my apology to my faithful readers, wherever you may be. I have just plain been busy with life or looking at your blogs. I am really sorry!

So, here I am trying to sift through ideas of what to blog about and it all feels a bit overwhelming. I really do want to post about these things, just not right now. Ah, procrastination and guilt--they go hand in hand, don't they?

So here is a list of what I might post about...later:

1. I have a date tomorrow night. I want to post about how much I really don't like dating.

2. My mini-vacation to Zion Nat'l Park. I have some great pics to show and I wanted to talk about The Affluent Traveler and other such observations I made about my fellow-tourists.

3. Why is it that Spring Break, weekends, and all time off of work goes so by incredibly fast. Really, why is it that time in general seems to be speeding up?

4. I am amazed by how many people I run into that I know or am acquainted with while blog hopping. It makes me wonder who has bumped into me.

Those are just a few I might get around to. Until then, know that I haven't forgotten this blog of mine. And if I haven't commented on your blog, know that I read it and will get around to commenting eventually.