Monday, May 11, 2009

Letters Addressed to Undeterminable Destinations

One of my favorite bloggers, Jen at Rowena's Rants, often writes letters. Letters of ranting. Letters of complaint. Letters of praise. Always succinct and sassy, Jen writes exactly what needs to be said. So I'm following suit in today's post because there are a few letters I need written, though I don't know what address to send them to.

Dear Spring,

I love you. You make me happy whether your skies are grey or blue. Stick around a while longer. You are a welcome guest in my life.

Signed,
Not Ready for Summer's Scorching


Dear Aunt Flo,

Either arrive and continue to "flo" or don't. Don't slow your "flo" to near-nothing early in the weekend, making me think all is well in lady-land, only to surprise me in the middle of the school day Monday with an adolescent embarrassment.

Signed,
Unafraid of Publicly Sharing the Facts of Her Life


Dear Alarm Clock,

I hate you. Were you not also my phone I would kill you daily.

Signed,
Peeved and Drowsy


Dear Construction on My Way to Work,

Stop making me late. Or else.

Signed,
A Despiser of Orange Cones


Dear End of School Year,

Any time now. We're all waiting.

Signed,
Anxious for the 2 1/2 Month Death of Her Alarm Clock


And now, in the comments section, it is time for your letters to undeterminable destinations.

8 comments:

Jen said...

Dear Laundry,

As you are my archnemesis, I feel inclined to inform you that despite your recent gains in volume, I plan to prevail in all of our mortal battles. Bahahahaha.

love, the bossy one with the children

The Rookie said...

Dear Jen,

And still you rule supreme in letter writing. I bow down.

Signed,
An Admirer

debilyn said...

Those are great!

I did a rather long letter to Aunt Flo on my blog awhile ago...(not that it helped AT ALL)

http://definitelydebilyn.blogspot.com/2008/12/open-letter-to-aunt-flo.html

Now I think I'll go check out Jen's blog...

Wendy said...

Dear Rookie,

Please continue with these thoughtful and timely letters. you brightened my day. :)

Love,

Your sis.

Stine said...

Dear Rookie,

YOU are one creative auntie. You "flo" in the straight up convo, yo.


Signed,

My alarm clock has turned biological.

Rie Pie said...

What a great idea your friend had!! And like all good ideas, they must be stolen.
I'm pretty sure that I'm going to start doing this on my blog. I'll do my first as a comment on your page. And I'll make it fit my personality perfectly.

Dear Hot Men of the World,

Make out with my face. That is all.

Love,
I just bought new lipgloss from Vickie's girl.

The Rookie said...

Rie, you make me laugh incessantly.

Debilyn, that post is hilarious.

Thanks sisters 1 & 2 for the lovely comments. How are your lives?

Alice said...

Dear Blog-

I don't know how to do it anymore. My thoughts seem to have been sucked out by an evil monkey. I don't know what to say anymore? Do I quit?

love,
desperate for help