Friday, April 3, 2009

River of Thought: My Stream of Consciousness Friday

I am tired tonight. I should just go to bed. How many hours did I get last night? Not enough. But I feel like 9 o'clock bedtime on a Friday night reveals something about me that I don't want to admit. Kind of like that reception I went to tonight. Yeah, the one where the bride threw the bouquet and it landed ON my feet and I didn't pick it up because I thought that someone else would appreciate it more than I would--like one of the little flower girls. When I was a flower girl I always wanted to catch the bouquet. Now, I think it makes me look desperately pitiful. Yes, folks, 28. I'm 28 and still single. Deal with it. Or rather, I have to deal with it and the fact that Mormon men ("Mormen") do not date. Or ask girls out on dates. Or maybe they just don't ask ME out on dates. Even when I attempt flirting (badly). Even if he stares at me like he might be interested (maybe I had a booger dangling?). Apparently asking someone to eat dinner with you is the new version of "Popping the Big Question." It's just dinner.

Oooh, What Not to Wear is on! What is Stacey London wearing? Sometimes, though it is rare-ish, I think they need to change their clothing before giving fashion advice. Especially when Clinton looks like a 1950's golfer. I wish I could go online shopping right now, but I promised myself I'd pay off that credit card. Ugh, commercial break. Why are commercials always so LOUD? Like the Oxy Clean guy--good night man! Pull yourself together. Ooh, but I love this commercial:

Super delicious! THAT is funny. That little girl is adorable. Little girls in glasses are somehow heartwarming to me. Except me. When I was a little girl in glasses Mom put me (and herself) in identical Sally Jesse Raphael red glasses that were, oh, 12 TIMES TOO LARGE FOR MY FACE! Thanks, Mom. When is Mother's Day? Probably in May. Wonder what I should do for her? She'd probably be happy even if I gave her gift certificates to Sizzler or something--my precious mother! Freaking Sizzler! Or rather, the freaking patrons of Sizzler. Seriously, who steals an entire to-go box filled with fruit from a salad bar? There is a produce section at the grocery store for a reason. You can buy avocados on your own.
You don't have to STEAL your 5-a-day from Sizzler! Those are the same people who think a $2 tip is all you have to leave no matter what the bill is. 20% people. Double tithing. 20%. If you're going out to eat out plan on paying the tip! And don't get me started on those people who rip off the cash left on tables. Come on, folks. You're not stickin' it to the man, here! These are hardworking waiters and waitresses just trying to earn some cash money for survival just like the rest of us. Special place in hell. That is all I'm going to say. Special place. Oh, I really need to grade those place assignment essays. I'm so over grading. Too bad I signed up for a life of it.

You get the point. I'm going to bed. Once What Not to Wear is over, of course.


Jen said...

Special place in hell. Hahahaha!

Wendy said...

You are super delicious! :)

Heidi said...

THAT'S MY FAVORITE COMMERCIAL TOO! I love that little girl's face. She just warms my heart.

And for the record--I love you.

Rie Pie said...

Great post. I really like this!!
My stream of conciousness of Sunday.
G.C. was so awesome this year!!
I love our Prophet.
Enchaladas are yummy.
Diet Coke is yummy.
Making bags is distracting.
Richard Armitage is even more yummy and distracting. (Can I please lick the TV?!)
Bumper cars...
Jane Austen is amazing.
Why did I take the cookies home?

Libby said...

I too love that lil' gal. Plus, the dad when he says,"What does she look like?" Hi-larious. Bless your mother for the Sally Jesse's. Those were the days! My current glasses are red. I go between calling myself Sally Jesse and Ugly Betty. It's fine.
P.S. word verification: whooki

Anonymous said...

Lynnie and I love this commercial! Every time it comes on we pause and have to say "she thinks you're super delicious," and our day is better. Todd just rolls his eyes. What does he know? Our simple pleasures in life, at least Lynnie and I can enjoy it together.