Monday, July 5, 2010

In Which I Reveal My Petty Side

* Even the lovely Bette Davis had her turn as an Old Maid.

Old Maid-dom occurs when one's niece weds before she does. Yep. July 30th is the official date of the crap-tastrophic wedding (and I can say this because NONE of her family bothers reading my blog--that would require actually bothering to know me, I suppose).

The dear tried to tell me and bestie at a family get together last night that I "have no idea all that goes into planning a wedding!" Oh honey, have you never heard that little saying always a bridesmaid, never a bride?

I know. Believe me, I know. (Unlike your mother who wedded in 1989. You know: that wedding you're using as a model for your own reception.)

I'm just saying that in 29 years of single-dom I've attended or been a part of my fair share of weddings. Surely I could've been utilized for more than gift table duty.**

**Proof that outdated, unnecessary 80's Mormon wedding traditions will be leaking into this affair.


Lisa S said...

I so appreciate your feelings on this one. It's like you're posting about my life. lol I married at 34 and as a result had all my siblings, two of which are younger than me, marry before me. Then I started attending the showers of girls I used to babysit. ouch. All I will say is just hang in there, no advice....and believe me I'm tempted. lol

Kris said...

Puh-LEESE tell me her colors (why, oh why can't I inflect sarcasm into text?) involve turquoise and pink.

Sephalo said...

You dont sound bitter at all! Hang in there woman, I think you're awesome. (Not that that gets you any closer to a wedding date, but still)


Jen said...

Dear Rookie, I love you very much. I hope a small star of some joy or other will shine on you as you suffer through the tragic duty. At least you don't have to fluff and spray your bangs until they are bigger than hers just to show her. Love, Jen

Lildonbro said...

Gift table duty...gag. I hate weddings, is that wrong of me to say? I don't want to be in the wedding party and wear a dress I won't ever wear again. I like to be a guest who can accidentally fall asleep and miss the whole thing, or drop in for 30 minutes max and then wish them the best of luck and get back to what I would rather be doing. ...I'm not really maid-of-honor material if you couldn't tell..

Rie Pie said...

The wives tales says three times a bridesmaid never a bride. Since I’ve been a bridesmaid 6 times the curse gets cross canceled right?

You are going to be a beautiful bride one day and I hope I'm lucky enough to be a table girl at your wedding. :)

Mrs. Bennett said...

I don't think you sound bitter. She sounds ignorant. And young. Just say no to the gift table!!

Libby said...

I'm assuming this will be a "balloons in the basketball hoop" type of an affair? I sure wish I was invited.

However, I'm sure you'll be the best gift-table-attendant ever!