Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Wanker!

Dear ukdvdltd (at ebay),

As a single latetwentysomething residing in a peculiar area of the world in which I am, in fact, considered to be an old maid, I only get so much pleasure out of my little life. Recently, I discovered one Mr. Thornton (played by a certain Mr. Richard Armitage) in the BBC film adaptation of Elizabeth Gaskell's North and South. In this discovery, I recognized that owning this particular film adaptation would be particularly pleasing in its escapist and byronic nature. And so, looking for a frugal steal of a deal, I turned to no other than the infamous ebay. At said website, I was able to locate and purchase the complete DVD set of said film from your company.

I am impressed that, in spite of holidays and weather-caused airport closures, the item was able to skip across the pond, as it were, and arrive here in a timely manner. I was not impressed, however, to discover that, without any heed or warning on your part, this item, when placed in my DVD player, was exposed for the fraud that it is. You see, ukdvdltd (at ebay), your DVD is incompatible with my DVD player due to its incorrect regional code. What is a regional code? you ask. I'll tell you what it is, it is a code that correlates directly with the DVD players of the UK and all of Europe, but not so much MY DVD player from the UNITED STATES.

Here is what I need from you, ukdvdltd: When selling items on ebay to an international customer base, do your research. If the regional codes won't match up: warn the customer. Or, if you knew this would be an issue for a customer such as myself, please clearly advertise this. Also, I really need a complete refund for the 11.70 lbs. I spent (plus shipping & handling charges). You see, I need to take this refund and apply it to the purchase of the DVD set which will actually cooperate with my DVD player.

Thank you for your time and what I assume will be your superb and reasonable customer service. If ever I am in the market for the DVDs under the UK regional code, and if my predictions about your service are correct, you will certainly be my first choice for DVDs and other media.

Sincerely,
The Rookie

P.S. Buggar off, you bloody wankers! Who do you think you are? Don't you know how this has ruined me!?




And, because it made me laugh hysterically:

11 comments:

Rie Pie said...

wow. I'm the first to comment.
Go figure.

I can't believe that the DVD wouldn't work in the states. I'm still shocked that my great idea of taking the disc out and trying it again didn't work...

Good thing you had a back up from Blockbuster for us to watch. Oh, and the many episodes of Vicar of Dilbey on you tube. Oh, and the bedtime story that Richard Armitage reads. Oh, and the pausing and slow tracking back and forth over the scenes of his beautiful face and insanely wickedly perfect shiny body... It's Britney beach.
Have I said to much?!

I'be bween here two weeps and I haben't hab a dwate. I waant a dwate. I haven't hab a dwape. You so sexy. Good music, singing the music you write good. Good singing with music.

Good night I'm tired. Can't wait to get up in a few hours for work.

Wemdu Pea said...

NOT fair! Life is just not fair. :(

Loved the clip. :)

Jen said...

I recommend purchasing said divid from Amazon. I have been immensely pleased with mine.

Wemdu Pea said...

Oh yeah...and I LOVE the word Wanker! :) I will use it in a sentence five times today.

Hatley Family said...

Hahahaha I absolutely love when you write! Your style is truly awesome. I could honestly hear you talking as I read.

silvernic said...

Being a Wanker myself I'd like to offer you one of my services: call me, email me, or send me some psychic vibes, and then I'll come pick up your DVD's and make perfectly legal copies of them that can be played in your DVD player. It's the least I could do to thank you for the continuous entertainment provided by your girly little blog.

The Lathrop's said...

Brooke, do you know my maiden name is Armitage?

loved your post - love the way you write - looking forward to your next :o)

Ginger said...

Seriously. I would be so ticked off. I hate companies who are just out to make a buck and don't care about their customer satisfaction. And I too love the word Wanker...

Confessions of a Music Loving Bookworm said...

that really does suck (mind my language)!!! that is why i will never stoop to going to ebay! because some things just never work, hence the problem will my iPod. oh, and that was a lovely clip. FUNNY!

Alice said...

That totally stinks. I am sorry :(

Anonymous said...

Download a trial copy of anydvd and rip the DVD to the hard drive of your computer. Then burn the contents onto a new disc using your computer. Should work. Sorry for posting anonymously; I'm on my iPod. This is Rowena's husband.