To Whom It May Concern

As application deadlines approach, I've been writing my annual lot of student recommendation letters--which I usually rather enjoy (as long as I have something good to say about the budding adult). In this rush of letters about others, I wondered what I'd have to say about myself were I to write my own recommendation. I am, unsurprisingly, my own worst critic. So, as an experiment in positive self talk (and maybe a bit of self-deprecating humor), my letter of recommendation to the human race:

To Whom It May Concern:

I am writing in regard to an individual very close to me whom I've known some 28 years: myself. This woman offers the qualities of a loyal friend, a deep thinker with an appreciation for crude potty humor, a better-than-average writer, and an understanding teacher. She is an asset, except, perhaps, on her bad days. Although she has a lengthy list of faults, her sense of ethics forces her to try and make up for them in every possible way. To boot, she is well-accessorized and generally smells good.

As a friend, this fine woman is prized. She may forget to send your birthday card on time, but she comes with a listening ear and a willingness to help. And provide chocolate. Her general sense of empathy and compassion is the foundation of each of her friendships. She prefers a deeper bond than mere acquaintance and therefore may divulge too much personal information in an attempt to form said bond. And while she listens intently, she also talks incessantly once comfortable. Her tangents will take you to wonderful ideas (but forget it if you want to come full circle).

While she loves to delve into deep and contemplative topics, a good fart joke can make this lady giggle until she cries. But don't let her affinity toward the off-color deceive you, at heart she is a fan of foreign films, intelligent conversation, poetry and art.

As a writer, she is clean and precise. She views words as her friends, her best medium of self-expression. And though some hate what she writes and others love it, she feels she can't quite make it stop. Her mind works in language. Even if she is a hack job amateur writer, what she lacks in talent, she certainly makes up for in passion. She should write more often, but that would detract from her other love: the classroom.

Adolescents are not a highly regarded segment of the populace, but this woman actually appreciates them and their growing worlds. She likes to see how they think, how they blossom in that knowledge as they grasp concepts and master skills. She also thinks them entirely entertaining. If you ask her about this job, give yourself adequate time as you can expect a lengthy conversation ranging from her concerns for adolescents to her pride in their successes (with a few humorous anecdotes about the woes of 9th graders thrown in).

All in all, though I could point out each of her blemishes and weaknesses like I can pick out a type-o, she ain't that bad of a gal. And, you can call me vain all you'd like, but I would kill for her hair if I didn't already have it myself.

Sincerely,
The One Who Knows Her Best (hopefully)