Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Overheard at School Today

Friday marks the end of term one in Ms. Rookie's class. In celebration of one of my least favorite weeks, I thought I'd share with you all what it is really like to be a teacher.



(So much for my positivity-fest. Yes I really do get paid to spend the day with these people.)

"What's my grade? Am I passing yet?"
If you aren't the type to keep track of this kind of thing on your own, I'm going to guess no.

"That's not middle awged! Middle awge starts at like 30!"
Nice. Talk about life coming at you fast!

"Can I turn this in late and still get full credit?"
Because you didn't understand my 50% off late work policy that is posted and has been covered just about every day since the beginning of the school year?

"'Dude' is such a sweet word."
Great, and they've given you a driver's license.

"What's my grade?"
Comin' right up! Just let me check my ULTRA-HUMAN MEMORY DATABASE because I actually do have the remaining mental capacity after dealing with you people all day to memorize all 160 students' ever-fluctuating letter grades.

"You mean double spacing isn't just pushing the space bar twice?"
Sometimes there are no words.

"If I do this assignment, can I pass your class?"
Oh, absolutely. Because all those assignments and projects you haven't done this term were absolutely meaningless.

"But I'm like seventy-two ounces of sexy, Teacher."
(WTF?) No, no. Let's clarify some things for you: you are about 117 pounds of awkward freshman pubescence.

"Just think, we may have F's now. But by Monday we'll all have A's again!"
Way to look on the bright side of your failure.

Have a happy Tuesday. I've grading to accomplish and some ibuprofen with my name...

7 comments:

Stephanie said...

"You mean double spacing isn't just pushing the space bar twice?"
Sometimes there are no words. Wow. Just... wow...

"But I'm like seventy-two ounces of sexy, Teacher."
(WTF?) No, no. Let's clarify some things for you: you are about 117 pounds of awkward freshman pubescence. BAAAAHHHAAAAHHHHAAAA!!!!

Jen said...

Classic. I just love how adolescents just oooooze hormones. I don't know how you take it every day.

Willis Family said...

Brooke I love you. You make my day with some of these posts. Thanks for the laugh. It was good enough that I had to read it to Jake.

Amber said...

Poor sister, you're a saint! I think most teachers are. Take care this week. Go get you and Alice one of those Yummy cookies for me!

Libby said...

I completely concur with Stephanie. I was just going to point out that those were my very favorite student-isms of the bunch! You need to have a secret tape recorder in your desk.

Kimmy said...

Wow. I had a hard time not snorting as I read this at work. Hilarious! I'm glad you have an awesome sense of humor to stay partially sane through the school year...

Terresa said...

Heeelarious post! Is there a blog by that title, "Overheard @ school today"? I know there's an "Overheard in the ward" one. B/c you've got it covered, girl. This is pee-your-pants-funny stuff. Even for non-teachers like me. (I'm a Librarian)