Monday, January 12, 2009

20 Random Things That Make Me Cringe, In No Particular Order

1. The sound my alarm ringtone makes (you can add the T-mobile jingle to that list as it was once my alarm).

2. Needles.

3. Veins.

4. The sound of a shovel scraping pavement.

5. Opening cans. A few months ago I royally sliced my hand on the jagged lid while opening a can of refried beans. Ever since then I'm terrified of it.

6. Swallowing the handfuls of vitamin concoctions my mother gave me growing up (washed down with a protein Shaklee shake, thankyouverymuch). (You can add this to the "things that make me shiver" list.)

7. Stagnant algae-filled bodies of water. I was once dumped into a stagnant cove of this stuff while canoeing at girls' camp growing up.

8. Ear wax.

9. The heavy stench of bacon that lingers long after it has been cooked and consumed.

10. Fish. Seafood in general, really.

11. Mystery moisture (you all know this experience--any public place in which you sit in/accidentally touch moisture that derives from an unknown source and has been there an inestimable amount of time).

12. Grammatical errors and malapropisms including: "Unthawed" (so does that mean you're freezing it?), "Irregardless" (not a word, in case you missed the memo), and my mom's personal favorite "Ignernt" (she thinks she is saying "ignorant" as in, they are rude, but she apparently is ignorant of the fact that "ignorant" means unaware, misinformed, or uneducated on a matter--Mommy, you know I still love you).

13. Over the top comedy movies in which things go from bad to worse (I hated Meet the Parents because I was cringing with stress the entire time).

14. Body odor. 'Nough said.

15. When I've started saying something without thinking and my comment goes awry (typically down the offensive/insulting path), at which point I try and correct or clarify the statement and, in the process, make it much worse.

16. Canned meats. It is just wrong.

17. When people say incredibly stupid things and remain oblivious to the stupidity of their statements. (Thank you, Miss South Carolina, for exhibiting my point perfectly!)

18. Scab-picking.

19. Muffin tops. Or should I say ill-fitting clothing in general.

20. Dry wooden spoons.


Wemdu Pea said...

Ok...I'm with you on all of them but...what's with #20? Dry wooden spoons?

Jen said...

I just recently learned what a muffin top is, and I am with you on this.

silvernic said...

Add "anyways" to number 12.

Lanie Painie said...

Hey - you keep your dry wooden spoon away from my muffin tops!

Confessions of a Music Loving Bookworm said...

HUH?? that is all i will say about Miss South C. i seriously didn't get a thing she said, well, maybe that people don't own a map? i mean, what the heck???

also, what is a muffin top????

Alice said...

You make me laugh friend. It is always interesting to see what totally sicks people out.

Although, I already knew all of these :)

charlotte criddle said...

oh my oh my that clip was so hard to watch ... I just wanted to help her think. good one! :)