Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Relationships and, like, stuff

Before class started the other day, I was, as usual, hurrying around, preparing for class before the bell rang, when I overheard the following conversation amongst a few students in my room:

Girl A:  How long have you guys been together?
Girl B:  Like, 7 months.
A:  No WAY!  I just can't do relationships.
Me:  (in my own private thoughts, of course)  You don't "do" relationships?  Dear heaven, help us all!
B:   NOT me!  I don't know why but I just have to be in a relationship.  Like HAVE to.
Me:  (private thoughts, once again)  Isn't that the mantra of 99% of women in an abusive relationship?
A: I just feel smothered, like leave me alone if I'm a relationship.  Mark, what about you?  Aren't you and Jamie together?  Like, haven't you been together for like ever?
Me:  (thoughts) How long, exactly, is "for like ever"?
Mark:  We broke up last week.
Me:  (thoughts) Apparently not too long.
A:  But I thought you guys hung out this weekend?
Me:  (thoughts) No way.  Did she even pause to acknowledge what he said?
Mark:  We did, but just as friends.
A:  Oh, that's another thing I just cannot do.  If I dated you and then we broke up, it is so over.  Like, permanently.
Me:  (thoughts) Is "like, permanently" related to "for like ever"?
Mark:  Well, we still like each other, just, we think we should date around, you know.
B:  Oh, if my boyfriend broke up with me, I would so be like don't talk to me.
Me:  Because you, like, HAVE to be in a relationship, right?
A: (noticing my amused eavesdropping) Miss Rookie, what about you?  Are you a relationship kind of girl?
Me:  Oh, honey, if only.  
Me:  (to Girl B)  Seven months, huh?  So are you in lo-o-o-ve? (because if I can't tease my students, who can I tease?)
Girl B: (shocked at the audacity/stupidity of my statement) NO!  Miss Rookie that's, like, totally serious!  We're just together.
Me:  (some mumble that sounds like "I see.")

Forgive me, dear student, for my absolute ignorance in such matters.  I am unhip in the worst possible way.


Alice said...

This is like, so funny. ;)

Oh to be 15 again, and be like so serious about my world.

Except I don't remember being quite as intense or dramatic. But I probably was. I did slap someone across the face at girls camp after all? But I was 12 then. I was like so much more mature by 15.

ok, I need to be done.

Stine said...

You're use of the word "like" is as eloquent as your writing darling. You capture your students words brilliantly.