Thursday, May 20, 2010
From the Desk of a Self-Admitted Worry Wart: A Gratuitously Narcissistic Post
Blogging should never be a hassle, but rather, a joy. Or something along those lines. Unfortunately, as with most things in my life, it has simply become another cause for anxiety. Yes, I need help. Possibly a xanax.
Irrational though it may be, lately my thoughts run along these lines while I'm checking your blog: "Oh no! I haven't blogged anything in a while and, and, and..."
And what? I mean, really? It isn't like the blog-mafia is going to rip my firstborn out of my hands the moment s/he is born.
Nothing. Will. Happen.
But the truth is, I am an anxious being. I've come to accept this fact about myself. I'm realizing that I've always worried. In first grade I stressed about poor Brandon What's-his-face in my class. I vividly recall having an emotional breakdown to my mother about the kid who liberally picked his nose for the world to see: "But Mom," I'd wailed, "I pick my nose too. I just don't do it in front of other people."
I should have known then.
I stress. A lot. Don't mind me. I'm the one in the corner breathing into a paper bag.
But, for the purpose of alleviating some stress and possibly so I can say I posted, I'm being self indulgent and fessing up to my anxious ways.
Here you have it. The "Lucky" 21 things I commonly stress about (in no particular order):
1. Work
2. Going to the gym
3. Skipping the gym
4. Driving behind grandma's that go 10 below but you can't seem to get past them (yep, not worth it, but I stress nonetheless)
5. Being late (which I usually am)
6. Blogging
7. Work
8. Not getting enough sleep
9. Mondays
10. Money
11. Work
12. Family
13. Friends
14. Students
15. Strangers (such as people broken down on the side of the road)
16. Work
17. Unwanted tasks on the to do list (that keep re-appearing because procrastination settles in)
18. Looming dates and appointments
19. Blood work
20. Car drama
21. The possibility of a catastrophic/maiming event striking anyone at any minute (blame my roommate for working the ER's trauma bays at our neighborhood hospital)
I'm a mess, people. I even worry a little bit that some of you aren't comfortable with my admission.
So be honest, what do you stress over? And how do you cope?
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11 comments:
Welcome back friend! I have missed you in the blogging world, but don't stress about it okay. Brilliantly honest post! I like you, that's all. We are little stress bundles aren't we. I get stressed when I see people alone in public places like the movies or plays. I worry about their loneliness. I stress over saying the wrong thing or doing the wrong thing at the wrong time...always. I stress over many of the same things on your list. I think we all do! So, my advice is this...take a deep breath, a Xanax, and a nap. xoxo
You crack me up! Sometimes I freak out that everyone blogs about important stuff and I go weeks and only have half naked pictures of my kid making silly faces to blog about ... I feel you! (and PS: I love your blog :)
Everything!! We come from the same gene pool. I'm with you 110%! I am trying to reconcile myself to this fact as well. As a child I was called a "worry wart" a lot. We just need to breathe, long slow breathes, in the nose for three, slowly, then hold it and out for three, slowly. I love you, try not to worry and stress, it is soooo bad for our health. Good luck with that though, right?
I stress over the following:
that the door is locked (I check and re-check this on a regular basis-even during the day)
My wrinkles
The temperature gauge on my car (this one is ridiculous. On our road trip to the Bay area, I actually had to put a "time restraint" on myself: I could only look at the temp. gauge every ten minutes, thus causing me to watch the clock obsessively. I cannot win.)
My nephews
etc. etc. etc.
I blame it on my father. The man is a ball of nerves, and sometimes I realize that I am following in his worry-riddled shoes and stop and laugh hysterically. For me, it's good to have reality checks often. I give myself lectures, such as: Really, Shannon? You're wasting time over whether or not the rice is going to be undercooked? Chill out.
I have a poster, you may have heard the saying: Keep Calm and Carry On. That helps a LOT.
Is it kind of sick that I feel a kindred link to you because of this?
What DON'T I stress about? Diet Coke helps. So do sleeping pills :)
* that my blog is a bore or not "real" enough or lacks a true focus
* that I don't post enough
* when to have another baby, how to pay for it.
* are my headaches really actually a brain tumor which will cause me to die in my thirties?
* is Alex's inability to sleep a sign of a deeper problem, which will cause him to die in his thirties?
* is {insert any minor health problem a loved one experiences} going to kill {loved one} when they are {insert age that is not acceptable for their early demise}
* am I too mean? or am I too nice?
I am a worrywart "don't wanna be"
and am still a work-in-progress. To help me get a grip, I researched and wrote a book entitled THE WORRYWART'S PRAYER BOOK. Did it help? Well, yes and no.
I believe we come out of the womb worriers and it's up to us to limit the time we spend on the worry-go-round. We are in control of our thoughts. We just have to learn to stop worry as soon as it starts.
Not easy. But over time, doable....
I also have a blog, THE WORRYWART'S CORNER. It might help.
All the best.
What don't I stress about? I could make a GIANT list on this comment but honestly I am worried it will be too strange or compulsive or diagnosable or too boring or...
The truth is I am anxiety ridden and sometimes I am better about working on it then others. Deeps breaths to me and you my friend. We can work on our worry together :)
This post! ;)
I am actually organizing a blog mafia to rip your first born from your arms...that's my current stress.
Other than that, boys, work, roommates, the dishes in the sink, family...that might be it.
I wish I stressed more. My life is one constant dismissal of genuinely stressful situations.
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