Lately I've... (insta-bomb)

...performed in the faculty's lip sync for my school's Spirit Bowl.

It involved public humiliation.

I was cool with it.

...spent a rather large summer of my Christmas fun-money to get started on "smashing".

*I think this crafting style is a good representation of what is happening inside this brain of mine--chaos.*

...been celebrating my birthday week with some good people.

...been snuggling lots with this little girl. 

She got fixed last week. :(

...been tortured with excessive amounts of grading. 

(And surviving all that grading with some fun filmography.)

What have you been up to, blogging world?

Questions I Need Answered

Is it hickey or hickie? Either way, there is nothing more disgusting than seeing the tell-tale signs of adolescent lust and awkwardness on the neck of a 14 year old boy who seems to always be in need of a shower. Hygiene, boys. Hygiene.

Why are we paying a $174,000 annual starting salary to individuals who don't do their job? (That being to actually pass laws that make our country better.) If I taught they way they govern I'd be the worst teacher in all of human history. And I'm including Mary Kay Letourneau in that list.

Why must my birthday be sullied by the beginning of Daylight Saving Time? Every year since they changed it I've spend my birthday week extra tired from waking an hour earlier. Thanks again, government.

Do you understand the zombie thing? Can you explain it to me. I've tried to find the humor in it to no avail. Zombies are generally disappointing.

Why are stripes so appealing to me? I have a stripe problem.

How can a sandwich consisting of a breaded, deep-fried chicken breast and sliced pickles be so delicious? I even pull off the pickles, so basically it is the chicken and the breading and part of the bun. Why are you so good, Chick-fil-A? And why have you not set up shop in my neighborhood? Couldn't we agree to kick Taco Bell out?

Who even goes to Taco Bell anymore?

What book/movie/musician do I not know about right now that you just know would be worth the time/Netflix/iTunes investment? No, really, I want your brilliant suggestions, readers.

What did you think of Seth MacFarlane on the Oscars? Convince me it didn't suck because I thought it was awful. Really awful.

More importantly, why do I continue to watch the Oscars year after year? It is a lackluster event with a few poignant speeches that can be found plastered all over the internet the next day anyway.

Why is it so hard to find a perfect pair of jeans? And why do stores "upgrade" to new cuts and styles once you find your ideal?

Why is it that the older I get, the more I just want to stay at home in yoga pants? Must be the jeans issue.

Valentine's Randomness

Valentine's Day is even more annoying if you spend your day with the epically hormonal. Let me remind you that it is a badge of honor in the eyes of some of my freshmen girls to carry around every bit of V-day loot they receive. All. Day. Long. That's a lot of bears, balloons, and chocolate.

In honor of my misery, a few Valentinesy items to cheer us all.

***

I posted this to fb today. Thank you, Stephanie.

 

***

 

 

***

 

 

***

 

 

***

 

 

***

 

 

***

 

 

 

***

 

 



Honestly

My Diet Coke addiction is getting worse. I don't care. I try and drink a lot of water to balance this out. I figure it is a fair trade.

I have to use the restroom a lot. I could hang with the pregnant.

I am having the 7 year itch at school. I don't necessarily want to leave it, by any means, but I certainly feel a bit lackluster as compared to other years. Time for a new unit or 12? Probably.

I can spend more hours of the day sleeping than waking during my period. All I want is sleep. And ibuprofen. And chocolate. And to punch someone in the jugular/junk (depending on their placement on my annoyance spectrum).

I have anxiety. It is almost debilitating, but usually some combination of reasoning and ugly crying into the lap of roomie as she soothes me and my ridiculous woes helps. We also sometimes go for a fro yo run if it isn't, you know, 11:47 at night. Usually anxiety hits around 11:47 at night.

I secretly wish to have a Missed Connection written about me.

Some books need to be stand alone books. Simply one book. Not the first in a series. Just that first book. Only that one book. Sorry, publishers, but you're beating it into the ground for money and we all know it and it is ruining publishing. Authors, shame on you for this!

I am in love with my phone, iPod, and laptop. It borders on unhealthy.

I dig politics. I swing liberal. I love that I have the right to vote. I die a little inside when I hear from people, especially women and individuals of color, who don't vote. So many sacrifices were made so they could vote. I struggle that they fail to understand how many people DIED and were beaten and abused and imprisoned so they could cast a vote. Show some respect. And not just every 4 years. (I say this to my pre-22 year old self.)

I don't get these floral/native/fair isle/legging/pant designs. It is one thing to regret such fashion decisions from your adolescence, it is another to make such choices as a grown woman. Listen, little Trendy-McTrendy-Sauce: You. Will. Regret. It. Mark my words. I had a houndstooth background/floral foreground pair of leggings in 5th grade. Ugly then. Ugly now.

Even so, I'll love you even if you wear hideous pants. I love that you are passionate about fashion to the point of risky. And a little piece of me will always be jealous of how cute your rockin' fanny looks in 'em. But you do realize there's a giant deer on your ass cheek, right?

I believe in cheap shoes. I have a hard time spending more than $30 for a pair of shoes. I covet real leather. I comfort myself at Payless.

My dog. I love her like a newborn baby. I became that person. She is intoxicatingly sweet and every nurturing bit of me expresses itself on my Betsy. It is what it is. But have you seen her?

I know for a fact I could be the person who narrates audio books. I've decided this would be easier than being a voice on NPR. I would just have to read the book in advance, get a sense of the narrator, and record it. I want that job so bad! Anybody know how I get into that?

I am delighted that nerds are taking over the culture. It is about time people realize there's a little nerdy in us all.

Letters

Dear Snow,
Enough already. We get it. You're really good at transforming from water into intricate patterns of delight and ice that fall from the sky. Blah, blah, blah. I can touch my toes and write a mean literary analysis essay. But I know when to say "when".

Dear Puppy,
Socks and slippers are not toys. Nor are my toes. And rugs are definitely off the play-time table. Also, your obsession with my unmentionables in the laundry basket is downright disgusting. Good thing you're stinkin' adorable. Stinkin'.

Dear Bestie,
Remember how you brought me my favorite kind of muffin home from the grocery store in the middle of a snow storm without me even asking? I always will because you are rad beyond measure and truly value my deep appreciation for pastries. This is one of the many things that has kept us friends for-evah.

Dear Audibles,
You complete me. Since joining I've "read" more books so far this school year than in all my past 6 years of teaching combined. I only regret not joining years ago.

Dear Music,
Sorry you've been neglected of late. Audiobooks have taken over the space you once filled.

Dear Readers of this Blog,
I am so very sorry for sucking. Please come back. Occasionally.

Dear Occasionally, 
Your correct spelling perpetually evades me. And I'm the kind of girl who knows how to correctly spell diarrhea, pneumonia, mnemonic, and definitely without assistance. What gives, occasion, occasionally, and occasional? What gives?

Dear Facebook,
Mostly, I find you painfully dull. But it is an obsessive sort of dull. You're like a bad boyfriend who gives me the occasional thrill and so I keep coming back for more. Only to be reminded how very dull the relationship is.

Dear Instagram,
I like you so much more than Facebook. Wanna grab lunch sometime?

Dear Primary Kids,
Thank you for making the first two hours of church fly by. You are funny and delightful. I also enjoy the many conversations about owies and favorite colors. Colors and owies are important stuff.

Dear Nap Time,
2 Legit 2 Quit. That's you. Through and through. Except when you come late in the afternoon thereby encouraging my night owl-ery. Legit not-so-much at 7 pm, nap time. 

truth comes randomly

(my brain as depicted by post-its)

I like getting in a hot car or shower when I'm incredibly chilled. I like how my skin prickles and thaws. I appreciate it almost as much as the dull hum of sunburn on my skin as I enter a cool pool.

I like quotes. Profound quotes. Silly quotes. Poignant quotes. I like words, generally. I suppose it is the pith of a great aphorism that I dig. That big ideas can be held together by a few well strung words, like bright and perfect beads placed in just the right order.

I like when silly things distract my classes and the typically lethargic perk up. This morning a giant (we're talking quarter-sized) bee flew in through the window. Our mutual fear put us on common ground. There was squealing and funny faces and a little bit of immaturity. But the uncontrollable parts of life remind me not to take myself so seriously. It's just Romeo & Juliet.

I like tracking packages coming my way almost as much as I like when I return home from work and see the box waiting on my doorstep. Thank you, FedEx guys, for creating this delightful online feature. I like knowing my Old Navy goods left Phoenix yesterday.

I like those stupid LOLZ kittehs. And not even in an ironic way. I frequently do, in fact, laugh out loud. I don't care if this tidbit about myself reveals my utter, lame, and absolute unhip-ness. I embrace these things in myself. And kittehs are cute.

I believe in large quantities of Diet Coke. I like that first sip. I like the fizzle sound. Diet Coke is a visceral experience, friends. I'm addicted and don't really care what you say.

I like writing on the white board. That deep, pressing desire you had as a kid to write a message on your teacher's board: just as satisfying as you imagined. I get to do it ALL the time. (Teacher perks must be recognized anywhere). However, I will hit you with a ruler if you write on mine. (Figuratively, of course. The most "damaging" thing I've done to my students is launch a dry erase marker at their unsuspecting--usually sleeping--self. No beating with rulers here. Ever.)

I like electronic compressed gas dusters and am equal parts disgusted and thrilled at what these brilliant inventions remove from my keyboard. It kind of works the same way as removing bathtub drain hairballs. The thrill comes mostly at admiring how clean it made things, or how well the drain now does its intended job.

I like teenagers so much more than most adults. Teenagers keep it real. This occurred to me yet again as I listened to upper management blow smoke during an "Employee Forum" at job #2. At least teenagers openly demonstrate to you that your existence doesn't really matter to them. Besides, it feels really good to know that, during said open demonstration of disdain, I am making money for being here while the little darlings are not.

Tag. I'm "IT"

This is Adele. I love her. Find out one of the reasons below.

Here's what you do:
1. Post the rules
2. Share 11 random things about myself
3. Answer the 11 questions from the post in which I was tagged
4. Create 11 new questions for my tag-ees to answer
5. Tag 11 people

11 Random Things About Me:
1. I have a sick enjoyment in watching my students make fools of themselves during class activities (dancing the "iambic pentameter" dressing up for "Greek Mythterpiece Theater", etc.). It gets them out of their insecure little shells and is a slightly sadistic kind of payback for their misdeeds.

2. I'm addicted to Pinterest, chocolate, Diet Coke, and sleeping in.

3. One day I'm going to finish writing a book. Maybe I'll even publish it. Maybe.

4. I average about 65-70 hours a week between my two jobs: teaching adolescents to read and write fluently (my real gig) and as a hospital telephone operator (my extra gig).

5. Adele is my middle name (and my mommy's name). Naturally, I love Adele the brilliant recording artist.

6. I have a running record of unbelievably awful dates. They usually ask me out again. This sometimes makes me wonder if it is all in my head.

7. Scarves and cardigans keep me clothed. I adore each equally. Summer is, understandably, a tough time of year for me.

8. I love the movie Amelie. I feel like I have a similar inner-life of whimsy and playfulness.

9. I love that, though I don't have children of my own, I have countless opportunities to nurture and mother. My students, nieces, and nephews provide me with ample moments to "mommy" the little ones (even teenagers need nurturing--shhh, don't tell them I let slip that they're not as bratty and tough as they like to front).

10. I like food. It is great to chat and chew with people you love. I love healthy food. I love junk food. I love cooking food. (As evidence, I'm sitting here at job #2 munching on popcorn, carrots and licorice.) Because of this I think it is totally gobsmacking-mind-boggling-crazy when people say stuff like: "I'm not really a dessert person" or "I forget to eat lunch sometimes." How is that even possible? My body tells me when it is lunch time before it is lunch time.

11. I frequently hold solo dance sessions in my living room, private concerts in my car, and stand-up comedy routines in front of my classes. I am a dork through-and-through. I embrace it.

11 Questions Asked of Me:
1. What are you naturally talented at? I am good at teaching. Honestly, I'm far better at it all now than I was when I started. But I am lucky to have a natural presence that says, "you better listen to me or else!" It kind of helps me in the classroom.

2. What is the most embarrassing song you have on your iPod? Oooh, probably something from a cheesy musical or some good ol' NKOTB.

3. What book have you read over and over? Anything I teach. Two I never grow tired of: My Antonia by Willa Cather and Cold Mountain by Charles Frazier.

4. Who is your hero, and why? My best friend. She puts everyone before herself. She is good and selfless. I kind of like her, frankly.

5. What song represents you? "Clair de Lune" by Debussy.

6. What is something that can always make you laugh? Potty humor. Always.

7. Who do you consider your best friend? Miss Alice.

8. What would you choose for your last meal? La Ferrovia anything.

9. What movie makes you cry, every time? Steel Magnolias or Beaches.

10.What advice would you give yourself if you could go back in time? Go on a study abroad trip during college. Even if you have to put it on a credit card, it will be entirely worth it.

11.What question do you wish I asked, and how would you answer it? "What past job did you enjoy the most?" Probably when I was at The Standard-Examiner as a "Classified AD-visor". Yes, yes I will toot my own horn: I was killer at creating classified ads, upselling, and using my "soxy voice" with the male customers to make more on commission. Plus, it was kind of fun typing all the time.


And finally, the 11 Lucky People I choose to tag are:
1. Alice
2. Stephanie R-to the-idge
3. Stephanie R-to the-ipley
4. Kim
5. Shannon B.
6. Spoons
7. Amber
8. Stine
9. Rowena's Rants
10. Nic
11. Wemdu

(And if you don't do it--no worries. You won't have 11 years of bad luck or anything. I promise. Really. Don't blame me if your life starts to suck.)

Letters that Need Writing

Dear Summer Cold,

You stink. At least I think you do. I can't really smell at the moment. But if I could, I'm quite certain you would stink.

Signed,
Miserable


Dear Garden (specifically the tomatoes),

Please grow. I'm begging you here. What's it going to take? Need I open a vein a la Little Shop of Horrors?

Respectfully,
A First Timer


Dear Cardigan Sweaters,

Without your loveliness I'm quite certain I'd go naked--or at least have more morning "I've nothing to wear!" tantrums.

Love,
Your Biggest Fan


Dear Pinterest,

You're sucking more of my time away than necessary. I can't say I mind all that much.

Love,
The one who can't help but smile and celebrate


Dear Best Friend,

Happy 29th Birthday this week! I'm happy you were born. I might be a hot mess without you in my world.

Love,
"Little Pinch"

P.S. I dare say it is time for a new blog post in your neck of the woods. Just a (kind of pushy) thought.


Dear Snow in the Mountains,

You're cramping my hiking style. And I hear you're going to wreak some serious flooding havoc down in the valleys.

Signed,
Not a skier, not a fan


Dear New Second Job,

You're really not all that shabby as long as I don't think about missing out on my lovely summer. Nonetheless, thank you for helping me pay off debt. Thank you for making my travel dreams seem like a possibility. Thank you for not being in retail. I'll hope my appreciation lasts even as school starts up again (eeks!).

Love,
The New Girl at Work


Dear AP Kiddos of 2010-2011,

I kind of miss you. But in order for me to bid a gleeful farewell to my obnoxious 9th graders, you and I had to part ways as well. Bummer. Please don't forget me.

Signed,
Your favorite English teacher of the moment


Dear Body,

Take this plateau and shove it. No, really. It is rather frustrating.

Love,
Me


Dear Target,

It is a love/hate thing with you and me, isn't it? Why must everything about you be so tempting?

Love,

Weak to your wily ways


Dear Writing,

It has been far too long. I miss you. Let's change that, shall we?

Love,
Me


Dear Chris O'Dowd,

You're giving Javier a run for his money. Good boy.

Love,
A Bit Smitten

Dear Friends,

I'm working on it. This whole blogging thing. Really.

It's just, I've had teaching and grading and playing and living to do. I've started a garden. I tilled the earth. Tilled with a shovel and my own strength, I tell you. I've been cooking more. I'm counting down the days to Cancun.

Life's busy and this 30 days of birthday celebration business was, quite honestly, an unrealistic goal I'm totally going to accomplish in one form or another.

Have patience, if you will. (I'm overrating the significance of my blog's role in your life, no?)

In the meantime, some rand-awesome thoughts I've been having:

1. An official state firearm, Utah. Really?

2. My suave and savvy, hip, amazeballs, too-cool-for-me AP students have designed a screen-print t-shirt design for our class. An AP t-shirt, folks! It features Henry David Thoreau. I'll show you all how trendy I am when I print mine and wear it the day of the exam (and thereafter). I feel like a celebrity: my class was cool enough in their eyes that they want a souvenir of the experience when it is over.

3. My birthday party featured balloons, gnome-esque party hats, Japanese food, ice cream, and good friends. I'll share the experience in pictures with you soon. Shout out to Alice for making it the best 30th a girl could ask for.

4. I spent as much on trashy dirt and rabbit poop (i.e. "compost") as I did on gasoline the other day. Both purchases are wrong on so many levels.

5. Cancun is coming! Cancun is coming!

6. I took the colors personality test a few weeks ago during a hang-out session with some good new gal pals in the ward and discovered that I'm not only a blue through and through (which I already knew), but I'm also very strongly a YELLOW? Say what? I've subsequently spent the past several weeks saying things to poor Alice like, "I did that because I'm a yellow." "I need party hats for my birthday because I'm a show-off yellow." It probably annoys her, but because I'm a yellow I sort of don't care that much.

7. The Adjustment Bureau = totally lame ending! Matt Damon's presence on the screen kind of made up for it.

8. Did you know that for two months out of the year I walk around spouting quotes from Romeo and Juliet in my mind (and sometimes out loud)? Yes, yes it is true. That's what happens when you've read it/taught it/watched it multiple times a day for those two months over the course of five years. It gets worse every year. February and March equate "[t]wo households both alike in dignity in fair Verona..." Furthermore, that poor little story is a REALLY awful plot line. One of Shakespeare's worst. And yet, so often copied.

9. Springing forward isn't my strong suit.

10. To make it an even 10, I think the first counselor in my bishopric is quite possibly the coolest man around. Word on the street is that he gave a 45 minute rant-lecture to all the fellas in our ward during priesthood meeting on Sunday about how lazy they are in regard to dating and the like. He said it is "time to push the reset button." Apparently between now and June our ward is practicing dating one another. Personally, I'm looking forward to extra-good people watching in sacrament over the next few weeks. I also think that my church needs to hire this guy as an official spokesperson who visits all singles wards. He could do firesides or something.

P.S. Sorry for all the uber-LDS slang in this post.

P.P.S. I'm really do promise to do SOMETHING about my birthday posts.

Dear Powers That Be:

1. Pray tell. Is there any possibility that the world's worst tasting substance (cough syrup) could be made more pallatable? I know I'm stuffed up as I swallow such wretchedness. I know this is supposed to soften the blow. But, you see, nothing gives me the dry heaves and the shivers quite like the stuff. And, for the record, the dry heaves in combination with a cough happens to be an ugly, ugly situation.

2. "Guy timing." Really? Can't we just call it what it is? (That being cowardice and distraction via electronics, naturally.)

3. Tagging. Graffiti. Label it as you choose (no pun intended). Let's discuss this little phenomenon. As an educator I really, really, really, really loathe/despise/hate this particular "art" form. Could some kind of vicious karma quickly mark the perpetrators? I'm not necessarily asking for maiming. Just some kind of semi-permanent, obnoxious or possibly humiliating marking on their persons made worse each time they mark something that isn't theirs. A minor stigmata of sorts. Acne doesn't count.

4. May I request Diet Coke in heaven? Or will I have to break that habit sooner than later?

5. Thank you for good girlfriends, old and new. I spent last night laughing with a couple of new ones over minestrone soup. I think good people make the world go round. I really do. I like talking to women. We're kind of awesome. Keep it coming.

6. I tried making chocolate chip cookies again on Monday. I even used Martha Stewart's fail-safe recipe. And again, my cookies bled into one another, spread out like pancake batter so thinly I could barely scrape them off the cookie sheet. I now have a tupperware dish filled with cookie bits that are soft and delicious, but look nothing like actual cookies. What can be done about this? Why must I always fail at cookies?

7. #2, the apartment next door, is being renovated at the moment. Because I have to listen to hours of pounding and banging and wall-rattling in my time off, may I somehow be reimbursed for the nuisance? Perhaps my future husband can move in next door. Yes, I think that would eliminate the bitter memory of the renovation annoyance quite sweetly.

8. Could the parents of my 10th grade honor boys form an alliance against their sons? You may have noticed, powers that be, that these young fellas are all growing braided Padowan-style side tails behind their ears. Perhaps this parent alliance could set a date and cut off aforementioned braided tails while their little lads sleep.

9. Nail polish chipping: I'm rather weary of this. Let's arrange something, shall we? I need at least a good week out of one paint job. Do you have any idea how long it takes for that stuff to dry and harden? It isn't right that somewhere between 24 and 48 hours later the things start looking like they've faced a jack hammer.

10. Please inform the individuals in the cars in front of me that when the sign that says "End School Zone" appears, that means it is time for you to resume the regular speed limit.

11. Quiet classrooms are beautiful things to behold. But then, so are noisy classrooms in which the noise all relates to social learning. Might you magnificent powers that be arrange to have the appropriate noise levels correlate with the appropriate moments in the arc of a lesson? I don't think I'm asking much here.

12. When I grow up, can I be as cool as some of my students? Seriously, I have never met such amazing 17 year olds as some of my AP kids. I was certainly not that brilliant or self-composed. I didn't have the keen taste in music and style sense that these individuals possess. I was awkward and insecure. I made up for it by behaving like a bit of a drama queen. All I ask is that, one day, I match them in their grace, goodness and nonchalant hip-ness.

13. Way to keep the inversion at bay. That sucker is depressing. I like to see the sky outside my window. I like the way the clouds shift and churn like a kaleidoscope. I like that the horizon is something tangible once again.

14. You know how I've been randomly waking up at two or three a.m.? You know how I look at my clock in panic only to realize I've a few more hours in bed? Let's just say I prefer these moments with the quick slide back into sleep. I prefer these half-awake peeks at the clock far more than those days I wake up seven minutes before the alarm goes off. Like today.

15. Can I have Javier Bardem for my 30th birthday? Pretty, pretty, pretty please. With a cherry on top.

In which I announce I'm tweeting and share some links

First of all, Stephanie introduced me to this gem of a blog. Well Hello There Lover happens to be one of my newest obsessions. It is up there with Missed Connections. I simply cannot get enough of these short epistles of love and infatuation.

Secondly, I'm now tweeting. Yes, my friends, I've joined the legions of Twitter. My tweets are protected, but please, please request to follow me and I will do likewise. I'm new to the medium but cannot wait to figure out this particular/peculiar new (to me) social network. You can find me here.
And, though I mentioned this on twitter, the following habit is going to be a tough one to break. Slate Magazine (via Kristy) has informed me that there is only to be one space after a period. My world is quite shattered with this information. To spend these 29 plus years thinking I was so absolutely correct only to discover I am wrong. What else shall I learn about surety?

my day job is, in a word, awesome

Overheard today:

"I can read girls better than I can read this book, teacher."

Is it wrong that I kind of want lessons?

Because I'm pretty sure my students are smoother

with the opposite sex than I am.

things I sometimes wonder

Is it "hooray" or "hurray"?

Hello '11. And then 12.

I've always had this thing with the number 11. At 11:11 I touch the digital clock and make a wish. Eleven is a good number. Ten, meh. 2010 was a hard one for me, I won't pretend otherwise. It started quite terribly. In a funk. It took months to dig myself out of it. I spent the first half of it fearful of turning 30. Much of the year felt like I was slogging through. Surviving. I had some rough classes, some irrational personal fears and worries, I had a bad attitude. It wasn't until summer that I started to perk up a bit. But maybe it was just seasonal affective disorder.

But 2011? Eleven has to be good, right? I feel hopeful about the new year. Alice, the best roommate-friend known to mankind, has been reading this book all about a woman's journey toward greater happiness. Alice loves books like these. From what she's told me, each month of the year this woman set a goal, small and slight, and then proceeded with it for the entire month, and into the next month and the next goal. Each slight improvement became habit. Each made her life feel more pleasant. And I think it is a good idea.

So here you have my 12 goals for the year:

1. January:
Go to bed earlier. Sleep is our friend. This is also my scariest goal.

2. February:
Read your scriptures and write a (minimum of) one sentence statement describing the personal significance of what you read. Every. Single. Day.

3. March:
You're turning 30. Spend each day of this month finding something to celebrate about yourself, your life, your body, your career, your relationships. Sing the song of yourself all month long. Write it down each day.

4. April:
Eat 5-7 servings of fruits and veggies every single day this month.

5. May:
Clean or organize something (a closet or cupboard, a load of laundry, anything) for 10 minutes every day.

6. June:
Move your body (at the gym, dancing in the living room, taking the stairs, hiking, doing some PM yoga) every day this month.

7. July:
Make your bed every day this month.

8. August:
Take a single picture that captures each day of the month.

9. September:
Read something you want to (not for school but for YOU) for a minimum of 10 minutes each day this month.

10. October:
Limit your computer time at home. 30 minutes per day tops. That's it. The exception: if you write a blog post.

11. November:
This is a month of gratitude. Make a statement of something you are grateful for each day of the month, on your blog, on facebook, to the students in your classes, your family, your friends. Appreciate life.

12. December:
This is a month of giving and sacrifice. Find a way each day to sacrifice and serve someone every day this month. It can be as simple as holding the elevator or letting a car merge in. It can be as grand as a service project. Spend each day this month intentionally, mindfully giving of yourself.

So what are your plans for the new year? I'm turning 30 and teaching and going to Cancun. That's all I know for sure. And isn't that the best part of a new year: the potential, the mystery, the hope of something splendid?

Happy 2011, friends!

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

In lieu of blogging, I've been up to some of the following (and please forgive the limitations of my point and shoot--yep, blaming the camera, not the photographer):

I made a gingerbread house. My first ever. From scratch. It was fun and frustrating and messy and the roof may contain a multi-grain club cracker. You'll never know. OK, the roof does have a club cracker--but the solution worked!

Next year, I'm going with the kit...or graham crackers.

I went to these kiddos' Christmas performance.

It was fabulous because THEY are fabulous!

He is kind of a rock star.

She was skipping along with the animated snowman at our favorite little (tacky) pizza place in the hometown.

And then there is this...

We went and saw the lights at Temple Square with the ward.

(Blurry, I know. But lovely nonetheless.)

I love the lights at Temple Square. But they have certainly toned it down in recent years. I remember it being a wonderland of billions of lights when I was a little girl. Every single tree was aglow. Not quite the same, anymore--but still,

one of my favorite holiday traditions.

Our new bishop was recently released as a Conference Center usher. He got us up on the Conference Center roof with his hook ups (OK, he still had his magnetized tag that worked on the elevator).

It was the best possible view. I love this photo! Thanks, Bish!

I'd like to call this one "I WAS ROBBED!"

Because I was. We had a door decorating contest at school with cash prizes and everything. The theme: Winter decor that matches your content area. What could be better than some Robert Frost action

for the English teacher's door?

Store bought decorations do not trump creativity.

That's all I'm saying.

My little 9th graders worked like gangbusters and had to deal with my neurotic, controlling self. My favorite conversation of the great door decorating day (upon discovering a clueless 9th grade boy taping masking tape in giant strips on TOP of the paper--not the little double-sided circle strips BEHIND the decor):

Me: Chayse, WHY are you taping it like that?!?

Chayse: Ummmm...

Me: You need to re-do that. It looks terrible, you can't have the tape showing! Do it like this.

(I demonstrate appropriate taping strategy.)

Chayse: Oh, huh. That makes sense. Oops!

Me: Sheesh! Who raised you?

Chayse: My dad.

Me: It shows! No sense of the aesthetic, whatsoever!

HA! Poor things! Yes, I am a control freak.

Finally, on Thursday we headed back to Temple Square. My dear Momsy scored tickets to the MoTab Christmas concert. David Archuleta was adorable as their guest. Perfect for the holidays!

I kind of love this woman!

Can't tell we're related at all, can you?

Waiting for the show to start.

(My favorite part of this photo: Allyson holding both of our Kindles--our waiting entertainment.)

The traditional "Besties" shot.

Thanks for taking our picture, usher-man.

The set was sweet!

It has been a busy few weeks. But I'm off school for two weeks,

Christmas is coming, snow is flying and I don't have to commute in it at an inhumane hour.

I LOVE this time of year!

Just Another Manic Monday

Dear Clean and Unfolded Laundry,
You have taken up residence on my sofa. The goal is to fix that this evening. I only said it was the goal. I made no promises.

Dear Grocery Store Peeps,
It was really uncool that you put Chicken with Rice cans in the Cream of Chicken soup dispenser. My creamy turkey enchiladas are going to be...fascinating tonight (no thanks to you).

Dear Adolescent Males the World Over,
Nobody (I repeat NOT A SINGLE SOUL) thinks you're as funny as you think you are. I would say I hate breaking that news to you, but the truth is I get a sick kind of pleasure from it.

Dear Boy Who Called Me at 11:30 on a School Night,
Who does that? Did it really take you that long to muster up the courage? Bless your heart.

Dear Purple,
I think I've fallen in love with you. You're a rather dreamy color, you know.

Dear Two Pounds Gained over Thanksgiving,
Do I just accept you until January or try and do something about it? It just feels like such a worthless cause with Christmas around the corner.

Dear Cancun,
I miss you and I've never even met you. April 16th, my love. April 16th.

Dear Snow,
You're like one of those mean girls: you look pretty but deep down inside you're cold, heartless, and bitter.

For Your Monday Viewing Pleasure:

Things I'd tell you if I could

A friend from high school recently tagged me in several photographs found in the typical Facebook old-school photo album. Most of the photos were from my senior year of high school. My hair was long. Really long. I was skinny but, naturally, thought I was fat. I was beautiful and thought myself ugly. So, after reading this. And this (she does a series of these, by the way), I've decided I need to write my own advice to my adolescent self.

1. You are beautiful. Stop looking at Seventeen and you'll start to realize that fact.
2. Cut your hair. It will save you time, money on hair products. And you'll love it so much more.
3. Embrace your freckles. One day someone will stare at the one on your top lip and it will drive him crazy in a good way.
4. Go to bed earlier.
5. College will be better than this.
6. You are talented, intelligent, and worthwhile. You needn't change a thing about yourself.
7. Except, please, for the love of all that is good and holy, just smile for the damn camera. Enough with the thumb and forefinger at the chin GQ pose!
8. Mascara is sometimes all you need on that face.
9. Stay out of the tanning bed. You're fair skinned and freckled and it could easily lead to cancer.
10. Wear shorter skirts while you can.
11. Accent that little waist. Don't hide behind clothing that is too big.
12. Flirt more with the boys. They like you. They really do.
13. Be bold. You are allowed to express your own will. If someone hurts you, tell them.
14. Don't say "sorry" or "just kidding" so much. Own what you have to say. It is of value.
15. Wear tampons earlier in life. It will change your life and save you from embarrassment.
16. Be foolish and silly. This is the time for such things.
17. Always be a loyal friend to people who do the same in return.
18. Love that body. Treat it with kindness. Don't eat a bag of chips from the vending machine for lunch just because your friends do. Keep dancing, even if it is in your living room.
19. Your greatest asset will be a good bra. I promise.
20. Don't think you need to listen to the same pop music your friends do. Trust in your instincts and good taste.
21. Sometimes those boys are teasing you because they think you are attractive.
22. Take chances and risks and listen to what the deepest part of yourself is saying.
23. Write thank you notes to your teachers. Most of them are working hard for kids just like you.
24. You really will be just fine when some people don't like you. Chances are you don't like them much either.
25. Don't be embarrassed of your parents. They are amazing, likable people.
26. Oh, and one last thing: could you whine and cry and throw an immature fit or 48 in order to make your parents pay for braces. Push the issue. Your nearly 30-year-old self with the increasingly crooked front tooth will thank you.

**Not quite during my adolescence--but, my, was I young!

Totally Tasteless TMI Tuesday: The Lady Doctor

**To my few and far between male readers, you probably don't want to proceed. Consider yourselves thoroughly warned.

Nobody, and I mean nobody, loves going to the doctor. Unless you have Munchausen syndrome--in which case, it probably isn't an MD that you need. But there are certain doctors that offer a slightly more awkward experience. Yesterday was my annual check up with the Ob/Gyn. Thanks to an insurance switch, this doc is new to me. My nerves and sick stomach the morning prior to said appointment made me wonder why this annual ritual was so dreaded. I came up with the following during my experiences with the lady doctor.

In no particular order, the top 8 things I could do without at the gynecologist:

1. Waiting. It is a doctors office and waiting is part of the game, I know. But waiting makes me even more nervous.

2. Shaving like it's your wedding night.

3. Peeing in a cup.

4. Public weighings.

5. Calming yourself, "Relax, relax, relax," during the blood pressure check. I fear my nervous state will make it look like I have high blood pressure. Yes, I see this as evidence that I'm neurotic.

6. Making small talk about the weather or your job during the breast and/or pelvic exam.

7. Avoiding any and all eye contact during aforementioned exams. (Read: the fluorescent lights are our friends.)

8. Resisting the urge to ask, "So how did you decide on gynecology?" (I can't help it; this question pops into my head. Every. Single. Time.)

Like I said: Totally Tasteless TMI Tuesday. But not so tasteless as to include any type of visual.